One of my favorite movies from my teenage years is Empire Records. Most people around my age know the film, though some never actually saw it. I can't blame them, they might have been too young at the time it was released and didn't have older brothers who were into the whole 90's cult film genre. It's quite difficult to find a copy of the dvd around these parts, whether pirated or original. Plus, it rarely airs on the movie channels we have on cable television.
I remember when I first watched it. I was maybe around 14 or 15 years old. At that time, I was completely absorbed with the whole 90's grunge theme, which was mostly white young adults from Jersey or Boston who all had one thing in common: they didn't bathe. I was a grunge kid. I wore long dresses with vests and Doc Marten boots. I listened to Blind Melon, Alanis Morisette, and 4 Non Blondes. I loved the films Reality Bites, Mall Rats, Singles and of course, Empire Records. I was absolutely obsessed with the TV series, My So-Called Life. But there was one thing I did that was very "non-grungy". I bathed. Daily.
Because this era was a very important part of my childhood, or rather, teenhood, I committed myself to find copies of these films. As I said earlier, they are quite difficult to find. So when my brother came home with a copy of Empire Records the other day, it's not hard to imagine how thrilled I was. Predictably, I watched it that same night.
It was about 10 years ago when I first watched it. And now, after watching it again a decade later, I asked myself only one question: What was wrong with me?
The only thing the film did for me was rise up warm, nostalgic feelings. Other than that, it was mediocre at best. Imagine a group of grungy, white young adults working in a record store who stage a concert on the store's roof to save it. What insight can you get from that? It was entertaining, yes. Even sweet, at times. But it comes nowhere near to the philosophical, witty dialogue of Reality Bites, or the haunting poetry found in Alanis Morisette's Jagged Little Pill album. All the angst and satirical humor I appreciate, and associate with that period was completely unrecognized in this film.
It's funny how much your perspective changes as you get older. I know this is no surprise, but it never ceases to amaze me each time I realize it. You see, most of the things I felt when I was younger, I still feel now. Most of the music I listened to, I still listen to now. I haven't changed too much, because even at that young age, I was quite conscious of my preferences. Most probably, because I wouldn't want to be teased by my older brothers for liking the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys. Although admittedly, I did. I'll probably look back at this chapter of my life when I'm 50 and feel the same way.
When I watch a film, or read a book for a second time, there's always something different about it somehow. It could be something I failed to notice, or something I found appealing then, that isn't now. But one thing I'm sure of, is that it's never really the same. I think this is also how people are. You might think you know yourself pretty well. Until you realize, you really don't.
