A Hard Days Night

You know you've been working too hard when:

1. Your uncle is in prison and you're one of the last people to know about it.

2. Your good friend who now works abroad came home to visit, and left without you even getting to see her. Not even once.

3. Everytime you log on to facebook, there's a new episode of Family Feud waiting for you.

4. You don't see your mom for 3 days.

5. You had to reschedule your dentist appointment more than 3 times.

6. You only get to reply to non-work related text messages the day after you receive them.

7. You start to miss your friends.

8. You drink coffee more than 3x a day just to make it through.

9. The only time you have to reminisce and grieve your brother's passing is when you're in the shower.

10. Your blog entries have become short, trite and in list form.

Dear Jaco

This is addressed to my older baby brother Jaco, who passed away on August 27, 2010 of myocardial infarction - or to put it simply, heart failure.

Dear Jaco,

From the day you were born, you were special. You were diagnosed with a rare combination of severe retardation and severe autism. You weren't supposed to walk or communicate in any way. You were supposed to be an infant forever. So when pop and mom took you to the doctor at age 4, right when you started to learn how to walk, the doctor had tears in her eyes. You always defied all the odds. Right up to the last moments of your life.

Growing up with you was something else. I always loved seeing your little bed space under the stairs, tickling you to make you laugh, singing your favorite nursery rhymes to you and hearing you try to sing it for yourself. You could never get the lyrics, but you were always impeccably in tune. I can still hear your voice as you sing "eeyay eeyay yo" at the top of your lungs with the biggest smile on your face. Oh, that smile. That smile could light up a million rooms and start a raging fire in the heart of its recipient.

When you and I were kids together, mom told me that I was in charge of you. I was supposed to take care of you. I envisioned my future with you in it. I always had. I always felt so special because pop and mom entrusted you, their most beloved baby, to me. That was why I always used to spend time with you, sitting on your bed and singing to you - I wanted you to know me and love me, so that if anything were to happen to pop and mom you wouldn't cry when it was my turn to take care of you.

I remember the nights you snuck into my bed, twirling my hair and waking me up. I used to hate it, but now, it's one of the things I'll miss most. I'm sorry I outgrew you. It must have been hard watching us grow up and have our own lives outside of the house - outside of our life with you. We had all the experiences and opportunities you never could have had.

The last few years were different though. When we grew up, you changed. You stopped going to school, you hated leaving the house, you became obsessive and your mood swings more extreme. How I wish you had the ability to tell us what was bothering you, what hurt and how you felt. But as our life with you had always been, it was simply a mystery. You may have changed, but our love for you did not. All the locked bathroom and refrigerator doors, all the hidden bread, all the nights of interrupted sleep was all worth it to have someone like you in my life.

Life was so colorful with you in it. You are the unknowing and unwilling center of our family, Jac. The day you died pop and mom said they felt a hole in their hearts. I feel it too. It hurts to know you're gone, but I would rather know you are in heaven than watch you suffer again like you did in the hospital that night. Did you know that you suffered about 5 cardiac arrests that night? You were so strong, but we were not. When you had that big one, the one before the last, I was holding your hand. I could feel you slipping away. I could see your fingers turn blue and feel the warmth leaving your hand. Do you remember what I told you then? I told you that I knew you were tired and that it was okay with me if you wanted to rest. It broke my heart to say those words, but I love you so much that I would rather feel the pain of losing you than for you to be in any more of it.

Now that you're gone, there is an empty silence. You were the king of the house and your presence was what made it, for me, home.

From the day you were born you were special, because inside your imperfect shell lay the purest and most beautiful soul I could ever hope to know. I am so blessed to have had you in my life. I will never forget you. I will never stop loving you.

Love forever and ever,

Anj

10 things I've learned from Gilbert Teodoro

As I write this, I am holding back tears. It is not because I don't like Noynoy Aquino, nor because I think Erap being allowed to run again and now come second in this race is a joke, but because about 90% of my voting countrymen allowed a good thing slip through their fingers... yet again.

I read a comment someone posted on the GT fan page that said the Philippines will never cease to be a third world country, because the Filipinos keep thinking like one. It's a tragedy that we repeatedly refuse to acknowledge our islands' limitless potential. By electing the same kind of people over and over again to lead our nation, we are consciously closing our minds and hearts to a new era in politics; where mudslinging and dirty tactics can become obsolete. It really is a shame.

Sour graping is the easiest thing in the world. I could whine, complain and write angry hate notes and messages about how stupid, inane and terrifically idiotic we've now made ourselves out to be. I could congratulate the 12 million Filipinos for damning us to 6 years of shame, blame and online games. There are so many delightfully snarky things I could say that would probably make me feel better. But this time, I won't. Why? Because this time, I've learned how to.

Throughout his campaign, Gilbert Teodoro was often praised by many, both in the public and private sectors, for his brilliance, integrity, capability and positivity. It was due to these qualities that he received support from me and over 3 million Filipinos across the country. Though we did not soar as high as we wanted to, it was in the few feet above the ground that I, and I'm sure my fellow "Gibonians" will concur, learned valuable lessons in politics, leadership and more importantly, in life.

Of these lessons, here are 10 that I will always remember... and treasure.

1. Stop the negativity! Take responsibility! One of the things Gibo was most commended for was his commitment to maintain a positive campaign throughout the period. Not once did he stoop down to sling the mud back, he would only wipe it off his shoes. His focus was on bringing his voice and platform to all areas of the country, to give us the chance to discern and make the decision based on that knowledge. No matter how dirty the arena had become, everyone still wanted to shake his hand.

2. The world keeps spinning and so should we. "Society does change." Gibo said this in one of his sorties, when he talked about addressing the material needs of people today. In an ideal society, people should be content to live within their means and capabilities. But unfortunately, reality begs to differ. The times, they are a changing, Bob Dylan once sang, and it will continue to do so whether we like it or not. The ability to adapt and adjust can no longer be considered an option, for it is fast becoming a necessity.

3. It's not the what. It's the how. Another thing Gibo was often praised for was his practical take on traditional and modern day issues. His platform attracted many because his proposed policies and solutions seemed "doable". In fact, there were no promises made to put an end to the problems that have been haunting our country for decades, if not centuries. After all, an idea is one thing, but its execution is another entirely.

4. Not all bad grass come from the same seed. We civilians have this idea that all government officials are the same: corrupt, self-serving and power hungry. But after listening to Gibo speak in one of his sorties about how corruption can be eased through incentives and rewards for good behavior, I realized that there still are public servants who actually WANT to serve the public.

5. Shit happens. But you can always clean it up. Throughout his stint as Secretary of National Defense happened two tragedies: the Typhoon Ketsana and Maguindanao massacre. His response to these disasters, while not perfect, was still commended by those who actually knew what the heck was going on. Even during the campaign, when many a time was he frowned upon for these unfortunate events, not once did I hear him point the finger at other people. What I admire is that he took responsibility for his actions and did what was best at the time to appease each situation.

6. There are many things we can compromise. Integrity is not one of them. Being a member of one of the most powerful political machineries in the country, it would have been easy to engage in the crossfire that happened between several of the candidates. Everyone wondered why he refused to denounce his ties to PGMA, even though people were saying they would vote for him if he would. Why not compromise, I, like many other Filipinos thought? Then, during one of his sorties, I heard him say that there is nothing on earth that is worth ruining his father's name, and his son's future. Right then and there, I understood.

7. Freedom, contrary to its root word, is not always free. So don't waste it. We are the only fully democratic country in our region, yet, we are one of the least progressive. This is something I've heard him stress over in many talks and forums. We actually have the right to say when we want change and when we've had enough. Sometimes, we don't appreciate how lucky we are, that we have the freedom of speech, the freedom to choose our religion and elect our leaders. It's up to us to make decisions for our future and the betterment of country. And luckily, it will ALWAYS be up to us.

8. Peace, on the other hand, is always free. So please make use of it. One of the main points of Gibo's platform was, and always will be, peace and unity among our 7,000++ islands. We are a diverse archipelago, rich in culture and heritage, and that is something we should be proud of, not hate. We often hear of the problems in other poor countries when in fact, we have the very same problems right next door. Though it is a very popular answer among aspiring beauty queens, that doesn't make it any less crucial. Peace should always be a priority in this, and any country.

9. The importance of a legacy. Of all the times I've heard him address the people's fear of him playing a puppet to PGMA, Gibo always says one thing: that he is still young. What he meant by this was that if he had been given the chance to lead, after his 6 years in office, he would still have many years to show face for; which he would not jeopardize for his sake, and more importantly, for his family's sake. After all, we can think of many ways to gain money and power, but we only have ONE life to live and ONE legacy to leave.

And last...

10. Love our country. This may be the simplest lesson, but nonetheless, it was something I deeply needed to relearn. In this day and age, we are more exposed to the outside world than ever. I'm not scared to admit that there have been a number of times when I felt ashamed of being a Filipino, in a country so afraid of change and innovation. Ashamed of our penchant for favoring people for who they know over who they are. Ashamed of our blatant backwardness, especially when compared to our neighboring countries. But the moment I heard Gibo speak about his vision for the country stirred in me a feeling of patriotism that I never thought I had. In the few months that I displayed my belief in his candidacy; I had also, willingly, displayed my belief in my country.

Despite the grief I feel for the outcome of this year's elections, strangely, I cannot escape the feeling of hope and pride that continues to swell inside me. Looking through the facebook pages of fellow "Gibonians", it's easy to see that there was something new, exciting and inspiring that was born out of all this. And I know that whatever was awakened in all of us is something that cannot be easily abandoned, or forgotten.

Though he's said before that this is the last time he expects to run for public office, I sincerely hope that for once, he said something he didn't mean. I hope, no, I insist that he runs again in 2016, because he owes all of us the opportunity to see his platform, ideas and vision become our reality. Throughout his campaign, we were introduced to a new breed of politics and contrary to what the new first lady (sorry, it slipped) has said, the Green Team volunteers were NEVER paid.

So Mr. Teodoro, if you ever get to read this, please consider giving us the chance to vote for you again. That is the only payment I seek.

Oh yeah, and thanks for the lessons. :-)

Hoping for a Beacon

Perhaps one of the most complicated words in the English language is this: politics. Though the textbook definition may be simple, the true meaning is not.

I am no authority when it comes to political matters. As a matter of fact, "Apathe-politic" was once my middle name. But now, in my mid-twenties, I'm beginning to see that politics may not a failed attempt at civilization after all. Despite our terrible track record of electing incompetent officials to run our government - our cause, I believe, is not all lost. The reason for my 180 reaction to local politics can be attributed to one man: Gibo Teodoro.

I would like to preempt this with a warning. If you're reading this, and have already decided on a candidate besides Gilbert Teodoro, you can stop reading now. If, like me, you have decided that he is the best man for the job, please continue. And if you have yet to decide who to vote for in the upcoming May 2010 elections, then please allow me to shed a little insight.

You may now know that he is the former Secretary of Defense, a former Congressman, a licensed commercial pilot, a bar top-notcher and a Harvard graduate, among others. But last year, when he was chosen by a majority involved to be the Standard Bearer for Lakas-Kampi-CMD, most people responded with: "Who?"

So, let the shedding begin.

Where he's been.

First off, a background. Gilberto Teodoro Jr. is the only child of Gilberto Sr., the late Social Security Administrator under the Marcos regime and Mercedes Cojuangco-Teodoro, former member of Batasang Pambansa. Yes, his father was a Marcos man, and yes, his mother is a Cojuangco. In true Cojuangco-Teodoro form, he followed in his parents' footsteps when he was barely out of high school, first as President of the Kabataang Barangay for Tarlac and as a long-time member of the Sangguniang Panlalawigan ng Tarlac.

In case you were wondering, he did belong to that other side of the political fence during the People's Power Revolution; mainly, not his cousin's.

He studied in Xavier School for elementary and high school, finished with a degree in BA-Commerce from De La Salle University, finished with a degree in Law Studies at UP Diliman (with the Dean's medal for academic excellence), topped the Bar Exams in the same year, worked for the Estelito Mendoza Law Firm, finished his Master of Laws in Harvard Law School and was admitted to the State Bar of New York.

Impressive, yes. But many of our aspiring candidates are also well educated. Maybe not as extensively as he was, but I think education should not be the primary basis for electing a future President. Which leads me to my next point.

What he's done.

After graduating from Harvard Law School, he had a promisingly enriching career ahead of him as a top-notch lawyer, whether in the Philippines or in the United States. But what did he do? 2 words: Public Service.

By his own merits, he was elected into Congress as the Representative for the 1st District of Tarlac, the very same province he began his early political years in. After 3 consecutive terms in office - the maximum number allowed by the Philippine constitutution, mind you - he turned over the baton to his lovely wife, Rep. Monica Prieto-Teodoro.

During his stint in Congress, he, along with now Senators Chiz Escudero and Allan Cayetano, were dubbed "The Bright Boys of Congress" of which he was the unofficial leader.

In 2007, after 9 productive years in Congress, he assumed the position of Secretary of National Defense of the Philippines, under the PGMA administration. He is the youngest official in Philippine history to take that seat, being only 42 years old at the time.

That is the main reason why he will not renounce his ties with PGMA, saying that she gave a 42-year old "kid" his big break. It's called gratitude, and should not be confused with servitude.

In this position, he was faced with a "helluvalot" of disasters, crises and criticisms; the more recent being the Ketsana/Ondoy and Ampatuan nightmares. Yes, I agree that the inadequate response to these devastating events took place under his leadership as head of the National Defense and Disaster Coordinating Council. I agree that he should have been ahead, that he should have seen it coming and that he should have forewarned us all. But do you agree with me then, when I say he's only human?

Yes, he knew there were private armies being raised up in Maguindanao, but did he have the resources to send large troops over there to ensure peace and order?

Yes, he knew we needed the famous rubber boats and approved the request to purchase these, but did anyone expect a whole month's worth of rainfall to beat down on us in less than 24 hours?

To be clear, I am not justifying that he did nothing wrong. These tragic events took place while he was in office, and I agree that he then, should be responsible. However, I do not believe that a nation's response to disasters of this calibre should rest solely on one man. Yes, he was the head, therefore, he was in charge. But a nation is not comprised of a few people in office. A nation is comprised of its citizens first, and its elected people in office, next. In times of extreme crisis, the country as a whole should act upon it, and not rely solely on those "in charge". These people are there to lead, not to save. We have only one Savior, and he did his job 2000 years ago.

Going back, after a little under 3 years into the position wherein, once again, he was faced with a "helluvalot" of disasters, crises and criticisms; he prematurely resigned from the post, announced his intention to run for President and was chosen by a majority involved to be the Standard Bearer for Lakas-Kampi-CMD.

And now, my last point.

Where he's going.

I am fortunate to have been able to witness several times a first-hand account of Gibo's platform and vision for the Philippines. While I agree with people who might say that is probably why I may be biased, that is also the reason why he has changed my point of view towards national politics.

To me, the summary of his platform is this: to make the Philippines a more globally competitive country. But apart from the "what", his focus is mainly directed towards the "how".

It really is a shame that we have fallen so drastically behind other countries, specifically, South East Asian countries. We are the only fully democratic country in our region and yet we are one of the, if not the, least innovative and progressive countries as of today. This is something he has stressed over and over in many talks and forums.

His proposals, solutions and strategies can be summed up in one word: doable. Watch any of the numerous debates and Presidential forums aired (or hogged) on ANC and you will see that his answers are the clearest and most concise by far.

The basis of his platform is the establishment of long term infrastructure plans and reforms for existing policies and programs; especially in the areas of education, agriculture, public health, national defense and tourism. But apart from these areas of government that desperately need improvement, he has also touched on other pressing issues that we as citizens are personally concerned with. Even with the age-old controversial topic of Graft and Corruption, his solution is plain and simple: reward good behavior.

It's no secret that a large majority of his volunteers and supporters are found in the Youth Demographic, which is between the ages of 18-35. In addition, an estimated 53% of registered voters in the upcoming May elections are members of this demographic, a lot of which are first-time voters.

So, why is the youth so fired up for him to take on the Presidency? A number of reasons have been given. Several students in the campus tours he had attended say that it's because they believe in his platform, some say that it's because he is "matalino" and "magaling", some say that it's because of his integrity while some are impressed with his answers in the forums they've attended, or watched on TV. While all of these are valid, I think there is an underlying reason behind all these reasons and that is because the youth vote is a thinking vote, and not an emotional vote.

Though I greatly respect and deeply admire what the Aquinos have done for the country and for us, the people, we (the youth) weren't there during the People's Power Revolution in 1986, so we didn't feel the blood, sweat and tears our parents and grandparents had shed to overthrow a tyrant. We were not yet of voting age when the current administration was elected and therefore, were not entirely aware of the shortcomings and abuse of power that went on.

And because of that, we generally do not have a bias towards him, nor against him. As the youth of the nation, we have chosen to focus our attention not on what had happened in the past, but on what can happen in the future.

I believe it's time for a new breed of politics.

And I believe it's time for a new breed of voters to make it happen.

All we need is?

Beatles fans around the world will definitely be able to answer that question. The popular song says (or sings) "all we need is love". Sorry to be such a pessimist, but I beg to disagree.

A very good friend of mine has recently been, well, let's just say devastated by love. He couldn't sleep, was very moody (more than usual), and whenever we were together he couldn't get it off his mind. At the time, I was doing my best to comfort him. But I noticed that anything I said or did failed to cheer him up. And then, I figured out why. Love is bipolar. It can be beautiful, and at the same time, the biggest pain in the ass.

It's not that I don't believe that love exists, but I don't believe that love is all we need. Love can't survive if there is no food in your stomach and it can't survive if there is no trust. More importantly, love can't survive if there is no peace.

If you really think about it, how can love be all we need when so many people's lives are ruined because of it? Teenage pregnancies, divorce, crimes of passion and even suicide cases are caused by love.

I believe that love can be beautiful given the right circumstances. The problem is that everyone is rushing to find "the one", and they tend to find them in all the wrong places. What's the hurry? Just enjoy life as it comes by the day and hopefully there will come a time when you'll stop looking for "the one" and start being someone else's "one". After all, no one comes out of their first love unscathed.

So no, I don't think that love is all we need. Actually I don't think that there is only one thing we need. We're humans, after all. So given our discontented nature, we think we need everything.

I'll end this with a quote a friend of mine sent me.

"People say that love makes the world go 'round. Well, so will eight shots of tequila. What's their point?"

My Top 10 Chick Flicks

Wikipedia defines a Chick Flick as "slang for a film designed to appeal to a female target audience." Being female, it is in my nature to be attracted to these kinds of movies every once in a while. Some of my top chick flicks can be compared to comfort food. It's something I like to experience over and over, especially on those days that I really need me some comforting.

So, here are some of my personal favorites: (in random order)

1. Bridget Jones's Diary (2001). This was the first movie that came to mind when I thought up this list, primarily because, it's one of the chick flicks that make me laugh the hardest. Sometimes, the best way to feel better is to laugh your ass off, and this movie may do just that. It's witty, sarcastic and even sadistic at times. Also, Colin Firth as Mahrc Dahrcy can make any girl, myself included, swoon.



2. While you were Sleeping (1995). Although it's not quite as funny as the first chick flick I mentioned, this is still one of my favorites. What struck me most about this film, especially when I first watched it as a young girl, is the original premise and unique spin on love stories. It's not the typical boy meets girl and they fall in love; it's actually girl falls in love with and stalks boy. Well, original and unique in 1995 at least. Despite it sometimes coming across as a "family movie", it still can deliver the warm, fuzzy feeling we girls get when it comes to romantic stories.

3. As Good As It Gets (1997). Legendary Hollywood bad-ass Jack Nicholson in a chick flick??? Yes way! I think this is one of those films that will be on everyone's list, not just because its freakin' Jack Nicholson, but because it just really is a good movie. A great one, even. With a very funny and well-written screenplay, a few of Hollywood's best actors and actresses and a really cute dog named Verdell, how can you not love this movie?


4. One Fine Day (1996). I know this movie is plain mediocre, at best. But I guess it's just one of those mediocre movies that you love, without really knowing why. Well, okay. I guess I can think of one good reason: George Clooney. Sometimes, after a bad day, George Clooney can make everything better.



5. Love Actually (2003). Now this is what you call a chick flick! We all know girls love complicated stuff. Well, with a top notch all-star British cast, complicatedly interwoven story lines, and a shirtless Rodrigo Santoro, it can just about put other chick flicks to shame. Plus, it also doubles as a Christmas movie. Two birds... One movie.

6. The Truth About Cats and Dogs (1996). Why do I love thee? Well, it portrays the ideal (though unrealistic) society where in the end, brains, humor and character triumph over beauty, blond hair and long, long legs.





7. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997). This is about a career woman who had a great relationship with a great guy, messed it up, and never had it quite as great again. Then, she finds out Mr. Great Guy is getting married. In other words, it's about most single career women in their thirties. Want more proof? She has a hilariously snide gay best friend/sidekick. So there.



8. Mean Girls (2004). High school in my time could never get this mean. Which is why it was so much fun to watch! Plus, Tina Fey's script is absolutely hilarious!





9. Sabrina (1954). One of the first ugly-duckling-turns-into-a-swan stories of all time. Every girl secretly wishes she could face her biggest childhood crush looking smokin' hot and making him wish he hadn't put her through hell back when they were kids. This movie is one of the firsts to make it happen.




10. High Fidelity (2000). I love John Cusack. I love almost all of his movies. I love the fact that he's not a perfect specimen of manliness yet can own a leading role even better than the typical Hollywood hunk. This movie in particular is one of my favorites, not just among chick flicks but of all time, because of its clever dialogue and lack of over-actors. Plus, did I mention how much I love John Cusack?


And that concludes my top 10 list of chick flicks. It's a good thing there are a lot more film genres to make lists out of.

5 things I don't understand about you

As a Filipino, there are many things in our culture and heritage I am proud of. For one, I've noticed that most of us are fond of and have a natural inclination towards the arts and music. We seem to be good at taking care of people which is why many Pinoys find employment overseas as nurses and caregivers. We are very hospitable and are good at being polite. And then, there are also some sports we tend to be good at such as pool and especially, thanks to Mr. Manny Pacquaio, boxing.

Then there are some things in our culture and heritage that I am not so proud of. For one, our incredibly corrupt and inefficient government systems, our tendency to favor "white" people; and our ridiculous love for melodrama and remakes. (To each his own)

And then, there are some things I neither love, nor hate; but rather, just don't understand. So, I've decided to list down 5 common Filipino habits we do for no apparent reason.


5. Proud to be Poor? I've heard the term "mahirap lang kami" from so many people who can afford to go to private school, eat out at least once a week, watch cable television and have internet access at home. I am not rich nor do I come from a rich family, but I still wouldn't tell the world that I am poor. Why? Because I know what poverty means. Anyway, how can anyone living here not know, when so many of our countrymen suffer from it? It's not something I would would want to wish upon myself, or upon anyone else for that matter. But sadly, it's a reality. And why some people would want to say so even though they are not, is beyond me.

4. Haha. Huhu. Picture this. You're out with a few people having a great time laughing and enjoying each other's company, when suddenly someone says; "huwag tayo masyadong masaya, iiyak tayo mamaya", then everyone just shuts up. Is there a laughter/tears balance scale I'm not aware of? Well, to set the record straight, I've had many good times that didn't end in tears.

3. K lng ba u? Aq, d ok. Not only have we mastered the art of texting, but we seem to have created a whole new language based on texting. And I'm not just talking about your regular shortcuts and abbreviations such as "u" for "you", or "mtg" for "meeting". I'm talking about changing the spelling, word usage and complete sentence structure of the Taglish language. I know that Taglish is a butchery of the 2 languages, but I think there should be at least some structure to it. To those people who butcher what is already butchered, I have this to say: "kainis nmn u!"

2. Padaan. Bow. scene: Two people leaning on opposite walls in a hallway engrossed deeply in conversation. Man who has every right to pass said hallway, needs to pass.
Man: "Skyus me po". (bows head and puts arms together as if in apology and passes between conversing people)
Conversing people: (look at man, then continue conversing)
Do they think that bowing their heads down makes them invisible? Just a thought.

And the top spot goes to...

1. Kain Tayo. I'm guessing this can be attributed to us being naturally hospitable, but seriously. Do we have to ask everyone who passes by to come and eat our food? And if they do eat our food, would that really make us happy? Was that really what we wanted them to do? Think about it, if someone did eat the food that was offered to them, the "offerer" would probably smile and be nice about it. Then after they leave, whisper one word: "kapal!"

So there you have it. 5 things Pinoys do or say for no logical reason. I orginally started this as a top 10 list, but I thought if I continued I might offend some people. Haha! I know there's more out there, so maybe a part 2 should be in order, some day soon.